Saturdays Keep Me Sane

Roses really smell like peaux-eaux-eaux...maybe

2006-12-01T02:32:00.000-08:00

Shadowy polls, sketchy computers and agenda-pushing pundits...as if college football didn't have enough external forces determining the fate of its post-season. Apparently, fans too now wield power in deciding in which bowl games their teams will play, as exhibited by LSU's reportedly impending trip to the Rose Bowl.

Even though their team hasn't been officially invited, LSU fans already have purchased some 32,000 Rose Bowl tickets [now totaling about 38,000, according to the Shreveport (La.) Times] a trend that started even before a Baton Rouge TV station reported that LSU will be heading to Pasadena. Maybe the Tiger faithful are just optimistic. But it seems more like the fan base, with the blessing of the school, is trying to impress the Rose Bowl committee into selecting No. 5 LSU.

Of course, the Rose Bowl CEO has denied any deal with LSU, citing that the BCS bowl lineup is contingent on the outcome of this weekend's games, including the SEC Championship Game between Florida and Arkansas.

The problem is that if the Tigers do end up in the Rose Bowl, and No. 4 Florida loses to Arkansas, the Gators could find themselves shut out of the prestigious and lucrative BCS bowl games (Rose, Orange, Fiesta and Sugar), despite the fact that they would then have the same record as LSU and that they defeated the Tigers earlier this season.

In that event, Arkansas would earn the automatic bid to the Sugar Bowl as the SEC champion. And since it seems improbable for any conference to have three teams playing in the BCS, Florida would likely fall to the Capital One Bowl, a game typically reserved for the SEC runner-up and one that pays a paltry $4.25 million.

Compare that to the $15.5 million payout offered by the BCS bowls, and that's quite a potential screw job if the stars and the ticket sales align perfectly against the Gators.

The case for / against Florida

2006-11-14T06:17:00.000-08:00

The new BCS rankings must have tickled Chris Russell pink. Russell, a blogger for Sporting News, ranted for more than 800 words on Sunday about how the BCS is a sham because Florida would rise undeservingly to No. 3 in the new rankings, while generally denigrating the entire Southeastern Conference in the process. But when the BCS standings came out later that day, it was USC that jumped Florida to occupy the No. 3 spot.

Now, we’re obviously not as smart or witty as Russell, but we do have something of a problem with the No. 7 team in the country jumping the No. 4 team, which won, after a weekend when Nos. 3, 5, 6 and 9 all lost. After all, Florida’s lone loss came at then-No. 11 Auburn a week after the Tigers lost at home in embarrassing fashion to Arkansas. The Trojans, however, lost to unranked Oregon State. Plus the Gators aren’t the only team winning narrowly (see USC wins against Washington, Washington State and Arizona State).

At the same time, we’re not all together certain that the Gators deserve the inside track to the national championship game, which is what the third-ranked team will get after No. 1 Ohio State and No. 2 Michigan beat each other up on Saturday. We don’t claim to share Russell’s uncanny ability to “look inside the soul and guts of a team” but will call it like it is. Florida’s offense is regressing with each passing week. Chris Leak is a 5-foot-9 quarterback (despite what the Florida roster says), who seems physically incapable of running Urban Meyer’s offense. And Meyer seems to have some kind of aversion to lining up and running between the tackles with his senior bruiser back. End-arounds look cute and all, but not in the red zone.

Unfortunately for the Gators, even if they regain momentum, they likely have no control over their destiny due to their remaining strength of schedule. Florida takes on Division I-AA Western Carolina on Saturday before facing a dying Florida State team to finish the regular season. Meanwhile, USC still has No. 15 Cal and No. 4 Notre Dame and would likely have to lose the former but win the latter to give Florida a shot at the national championship. If not, even a likely showdown with a one-loss Arkansas in the SEC Championship game, might not help the Gators since the Trojans throttled the Razorbacks—albeit the September beta version. Boy, wouldn’t Russell love that.

The avoidable demise of Marcus Thomas

2006-11-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

Breaking news for the University of Florida athletics department: College students smoke pot! Well, not all of them, but plenty do and that doesn’t make them drug addicts or mean that they support terrorism. Like it or not, marijuana is part of the college experience.

With that in mind, the Gators’ dismissal of defensive tackle Marcus Thomas seems sadly unnecessary.

Certainly, Thomas failed to live up to the higher standards required of collegiate athletes when he twice tested positive for marijuana and ultimately earned his dismissal by not abiding by the conditions resulting from those failed tests.

But some of those conditions, such as attending drug-education classes four days a week and a 12-step drug treatment program during weekends, seem a bit excessive and in all fairness highlight a priorities problem at Florida.

Let’s get this straight. Kenneth Tookes fires an assault rifle in an apartment complex, which results in a bullet piercing the wall of a (thankfully) vacant adjacent domicile and gets a slap on the wrist. Thomas smokes some pot and gets nailed with a rehabilitation program fit for Anna Nicole Smith. That’s fair.

The reality of the Big East

2006-11-03T05:27:00.000-08:00

Do they even know what defense is in the Big East? The popular strategy in that conference seems to be simply to lay down and let the opponent score as quickly as possible in order to get the ball back and score some more. It's a place where games are offensive foot races, and nationally revered offenses, like Louisville and West Virginia against seemingly comatose Pop Warner defenses.

Despite all the glorius hype Louisville will gain by trouncing West Virginia in the clash of the Big East titans (Did you know that Cardinals quarterback Brian Brohm cured cancer and AIDS at halftime at Papa John's Stadium? Really!) the game exhibited the conference's shortcommings on a Thursday night for the entire nation to see. Call me old fashioned, but when a leagues top two teams--not to mention the No. 3 and No. 5 ranked teams in the country--meet, they aren't supposed to rack up a combined 78 points.

Even though scores like that thrill fans and pundits, it's those kinds of scores that should keep an undefeated Big East team from playing in the BCS Championship. If the 'Cards run into a quality defense the likes of Ohio State, Michigan, Florida or Auburn, that flashy passing game won't look so pretty.

Waaaaaa!

2006-10-26T18:31:00.000-07:00

A man of Charlie Weis’ stature using a fatty food as a metaphor has to be the definition of irony. Sorry Charlie. Not to be mean, but you brought it on yourself.

Weis just can’t understand why some teams – specifically Tennessee, which came from behind at home to defeat Alabama by a field goal, and Florida, which had a bye week – jumped Notre Dame in this week’s coaches’ poll. So three days after his team lucked out a win against UCLA, the Notre Dame coach evoked the name of his favorite breakfast food/ snack/ breath mint while crying about the Irish slipping in the polls.

"One of the teams [Tennessee] that jumped us had the same game that we had. Another team [Florida] that jumped us wasn't even playing. They were home eating cheeseburgers and they end up jumping us. That befuddles me."
-- Charlie Weis

Charlie’s mad. Those were his burgers!

As Sports Illustrated’s Stewart Mandel so eloquently explains in full detail with a blind college football taste test of sorts, the real mystery is why the Irish were ranked ahead of Florida and Tennessee in the first place.

The facts show that the Irish look more at home in the cellar of the top-15 than the top-10. The facts show that only the luck of the Irish has saved Notre Dame from a potential four-loss season thus far (see: Georgia Tech, Michigan State and UCLA games). The facts show that Weis’ vaunted offense, obviously the greatest development in football since the forward pass, has regressed this season.

But damn the facts! Charlie would rather talk about cheeseburgers.

Lighten up and have a beer

2006-10-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

Having bowed to the thought police, CBS will goose step into Jacksonville this weekend for this year’s edition of – dare I say it at the risk of inciting an alcoholic Armageddon - “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.”

At the behest of teetotaling university presidents Michael Adams, of Georgia, and Bernie Machen, of Florida, CBS commentators will refrain from using the traditional moniker when broadcasting the annual Florida-Georgia rivalry game Saturday.
ESPN also will voluntarily censor itself for brownie points.

CBS salutes the First Amendment.

While the pressure from Adams and Machen is obviously a response to the deaths of two Florida students – one in 2004 and another in 2005 – in Jacksonville for Florida-Georgia festivities, the approach begs a simple but imperative question: Will not referring to the game by it’s libationary nickname keep RV-rockin’ alumni, stress-relieving students and jort-sporting fans from drinking their livers brown?

One blogger's modest prediction: not a chance.

But if Adams and Machen would like to really test the theory, perhaps they should try to wean fans off the cocktails by introducing a more suitable name. The guys over at everydayshouldbesaturday.com have a marvelous suggestion.

Next up on the Adams-Machen agenda: Switching the game from tackle to touch football and coming up with some less dangerous mascots. Bulldogs and Gators have really sharp teeth that can hurt…ouch!

A fine representative

2006-10-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

The University of Miami obviously prepared Lamar Thomas for the professional world. For at least the second time, Thomas’ primal thug mentality – the kind the Hurricanes seem to foster – got the former Miami wide receiver canned. Comcast Sports SouthEast fired Thomas from his color analyst job for inflammatory comments made during a brawl between Miami and visiting Florida International on Saturday.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the [Orange Bowl] playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing."
--Lamar Thomas

At least he’s progressing socially. In 1996, the Tampa Bay Bucs handed a 26-year-old Thomas his walking papers after he was charged with two counts of aggravated battery against his pregnant fiancé. This time, he only condoned violence and remained in the booth despite confessed urges to join the melee. Way to go, Lamar! You’ve made “Tha’ U” proud.

Coach, were you trying to harm yourself?

2006-10-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

The collapse in East Lansing has officially reached Titanic – albeit hilarious – proportions.

Some of you might have been lucky enough to have heard the on-air meltdown of one Michigan State alumnus/ Detroit sport talk radio personality after the Spartans choke job against Notre Dame. But the guy’s got nothing on Michigan State coach John L. Smith, who’s looking just slightly more stable than Mark Foley these days.

[Video of Coach Smith slapping himself in the face during a post-game press conference redacted because Google ruined You Tube.]

Guess that’s what happens when you (pucker, pucker, pucker!) get out-coached by Ron Zook and lose…to Illinois…at home…on homecoming.

Will the once-promising Spartans rip off another 1-6 streak only the way the Spartans can?

Will Zook ever win another Big Ten game?

Will Smith regain his mental faculties?

Stay tuned.

Next up: at Michigan and then Ohio State at home.

It’s time for a T.O.-style suicide watch.

It's time to pocket the "Race Card"

2006-09-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

The “Race Card” is a popular one to play in the media.

Now, it has been dealt against the University of Florida fan base.

The controversy started when some Gators fans “booed” as black starting quarterback, Chris Leak, replaced his popular white freshman backup, Tim Tebow, during the fourth quarter of UF’s 26-7 win against Kentucky on Saturday.

One Orlando Sentinel columnist lent credence to a previously published column suggesting that Gators fans, being predominantly Southerners, haven’t fairly supported Leak due to racist tendencies.

But could it be that maybe some fans were simply disappointed with Coach Urban Meyer’s decision to replace Tebow after watching the freshman deliver what Leak never could?

During the Gators previous drive, Tebow racked up 62 yards on three rushes, exhibiting the tough running and willingness to take a hit that Leak has failed to time and again. (Just a week earlier at Tennessee, the freshman came in to save his senior colleague after Leak scrambled and slid a yard short of a first down during a critical fourth-quarter drive.)

To boot, Leak killed the Tebow-led drive against the Wildcats, throwing an interception in the end zone.

So it’s a bit understandable what irked some fans when Leak re-entered during the following possession after another Tebow run put the Gators at the Kentucky 15-yard line.

Furthermore, where were all these alleged racists in 2003 when Gators fans were calling for Leak to start as a freshman over his white sophomore teammate Ingle Martin?

For the sake of fairness and responsibility, relax, think and shuffle the deck before lobbing general accusations of racism.

Apology not accepted

2006-09-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

The Pacific-10 told Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops what he already knew Monday: The league’s officials did blow calls during the final 72 seconds of the Sooners’ 34-33 loss at Oregon on Saturday.

But the apology and the one-game suspension of the offending officials issued by the Pac-10 did little to appease Stoops.

“At least they have reacted to it and tried,” Stoops told the Associated Press. “Truly there can be no amends to it and it can't be corrected.”

It might sound like sour grapes and excuses from the Sooners coach, but Stoops is correct.

This is why the NCAA adopted instant replay in the first place. The margin of error is just too miniscule in college football. One play can make or break a season, costing a university tens of millions of dollars…or perhaps worse: the scorn of its fan base.

David Boren understands this. That’s why the University of Oklahoma president fired off a letter to Big 12 commissioner Kevin Weiberg on Monday asking for the game to be stricken from the record books and expressing hope that the Pac-10 would change its policy of requiring only its own personnel to officiate games at Pac-10 universities.

Weiberg response: no and not likely.

Now, with at least one official dealing with death threats, the Pac-10, a conference widely regarded as an over-rated also-ran by fans of the power conferences back east, is discovering the hard way just how seriously middle America takes its college football.

OVER-RATED...

2006-09-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

Every season it seems the national media – premeditated or not – promote a select group of teams that might seem undeserving of such praises. Little more than two weeks into this college football season, the love fest is in full effect. Here’s a rundown of the top three most over-rated teams thus far.

1. No. 9 Florida State – Bobby Bowden’s boys made the press forget about a three-game losing streak to end the regular season last year by somehow defeating Virginia Tech to win the Atlantic Coast Conference and pushing No. 3 Penn State to triple overtime before losing in the Orange Bowl. But the start of this season hasn’t shown that the Seminoles have addressed last year’s offensive woes. FSU jumped two spots to ninth after edging Miami on Labor Day in what the talking heads called a defensive battle. But it was hard to tell whether the defenses were that good or the offenses that bad. The answer seemed to come Saturday when the Seminoles gained just 45 rushing yards in a near home loss to the Trojans – of Troy, not USC.

2. No. 13 Tennessee – After a 5-6 season, the Volunteers started this year with a mighty gracious No. 23 ranking. Then, Tennessee throttled then-No. 9 California, 35-18, in Knoxville to open the season and jumped all the way to the No. 11 spot. Pundits raved about the return of offensive coordinator/apparent Volunteers messiah David Cutcliffe, who coached Tennessee in the same capacity during the team’s 1998 national championship season. The Vols fell back to earth a little Saturday after surviving Air Force 31-30 at Neyland Stadium. Sure, Tennessee’s offense looks rejuvenated under Cutcliffe. Vols quarterback Erik Ainge deservingly won Southeastern Conference Offensive Player of the Week honors for his 24-for-29, 333-yard, three-touchdown performance against Air Force, and the junior leads the nation in passing efficiency. And Ainge’s favorite target, Robert Meachem, ranks second in the nation with 148.5 yards per game. But adjusted for inflation, those numbers don't seem so incredible. Last season the Air Force defense ranked 98th out of 117 Division I teams. Cal’s was 46th. Only three SEC defenses – South Carolina, Vanderbilt and Kentucky – were ranked 47th or lower last year. Those stats seem to suggest that Tennessee’s toughest challenges lie ahead, beginning Saturday when No. 7 Florida comes to town. The fact the Vols will be missing two defensive starters could make matters worse.

3. No. 2 Notre Dame – The last time anyone saw the Irish on the field before Sept. 2 was a 34-20 loss to Ohio State – one in which they were out-gained 617-348 in total yardage – in the Fiesta Bowl. Still, the media will be forever enamored with Notre Dame football lore. And considering the school’s vast nationally dispersed fan base, what story sells better than a return to greatness for the Irish? It nearly worked once during former coach Ty Willingham’s first season in South Bend in 2002. Remember? Undoubtedly, Coach Charlie Weis has the program heading in the right direction. The confidence on offense has improved light-years from when Willingham was at the helm. And the Irish defense, ranked 75th in the nation last year, has stepped up as well, helping grind out a 14-10 win at Georgia Tech to kick off the season and holding an offensively depleted Penn State team to 17 points in a rout Saturday. But until the Irish beat a legitimate contender, the hype seems inflated. Unfortunately, they might not get the opportunity until a season finale at USC.